10/12 - Emotionally all over the place

I don't even remember June specifically now. I only know it's been a rollercoaster ride. It started with me flying high and got me to the edge of despair, pushed me over and I crashed so hard into reality, it felt like I broke every single bone in my body.

I had two wonderful friends here with me, made a new one I hope, and went on a ride to Lübeck to experience the saddest ending of a story ever. 

I got another tattoo, together with my sister from another mister, Svenja, and fell in love with my friends here and at home even more. I ran more than seven kilometers because I was so stupid to think this wouldn't be the worst idea of my life. 

This last month, I started to realize that I won't be here for long now. This thought is so scary, I don't really know how to deal with it. This fact plus some people in this city twisted and turned me and made me so happy and so sad in the exactly same moment. I fear they don't even know. And especially don't understand.

There's not much to say about this month. It was there, but it wasn't and I can't explain why it feels like this, but it does. 

A paradox. One of my last ones here.