The Future of the Brotherhood

SPOILER ALERT: I thought I'd share what J.R. Ward shared with the world already because it's about the Black Dagger Brotherhood and the news are AMAZING.

Remember when I said I have no idea what Assail's book might be called? Well, it's most probably "The Thief". How do I know? Check out this Q&A from the book-event for "The Chosen" with the Warden and her fans in Cincinnati.


07/12 - #somuchlove

Another month flew by so fast. Seven gone, five more to come. 

The most striking thing within the past 30 days were my two roommates who turned out to be my family in the new city which isn't that new to me anymore. 

We shared a month of watching TV series, talking about everything and nothing, deep shit and super superficial, cooking and enjoying that we are so great at it, chilling together in each other's beds, having some ice cream or maybe some more, falling in love with the Lost characters (again) and being there for each other when it's mostly needed.

We've been through a month of mixed feelings and strange moments. However, we'll pull through. Of course, together. We even talked about getting tattooed and what should be the image we want to wear permanently. 

It's funny how much I miss these two girls now that I'm off for a holiday for almost two weeks. We got used to each other so much, we can barely stand a few days without the others. And that's what friendship is about, right? This time and its troubles keep us together and they strengthen our friendship in such an intense way. 

When we go back home, I know how much I'll need them in my life. And that's quite a good feeling because I know I can count on them being there. And whoever will hurt them, they'll regret it because I'll be there to break their bones just as well. 

Nothing left to say, only: #somuchlove


Best Friends and Partners in Crime

Today is national sibling-day in the U.S. So I thought I should say a few words about the best brother one could wish for.

The only thing about my brother John that's not cool is that he's not my twin-brother. That'd be awesome, even though I guess people would believe us if we told them we're twins anyway. Whatever. He's my best friend, always, and I know I can always count on him. He's the most funny guy I know, pretty handsome, too, by the way (Girls should better be the best female on earth if they want to get with him. Otherwise I'll break their bones.). I'll always have his back and I know he'll have mine.

The truth is, I wouldn't be able to live without him. We don't have to talk each day, write each day or see each other each day, but I need to know he's right there, and I need to be able to see him whenever I want to because he's the only one to really build me up on a rainy day.

So much about my brother - the coolest person to ever be alive in this world.


It's time to talk about... Assail

>> Xcor laughed with genuine respect. "You know what they say about suicide, don't you. No Fade for them." "Its not suicide if you shoot me first. Self-defense." "And your willing to test that out?" "If you are.” <<
― J.R. Ward - Lover Reborn

As a fan of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series, I accompanied many awesome characters through their development and got to know many on the way. The newest member of this very big and lovely family is a vampire called Assail, some badass bastard who is such a round character, I am willing to put him as number three on my list of BDB-characters I would marry (right behind Rehv who’s my number two and Phury – of course – being number one). This might also be because I understand the way Assail lives. It’s basically the way I would do it if I was in his situation. We’re pretty similar regarding our morals, our loyality and our image of the self.

When Assail first appeared, he wasn’t anything that I would call sympathetic. However, his rapid development changed this view as rapidly. Thanks to Marisol, the woman he fell in love with and lost just as fast, he became even darker, even more criminal, just to suddenly turn around completely and become not even loyal to the brothers and Wrath, but also a friend of Vishous’.

Still, he is far from being a perfect character, which makes him even better. There’s this similarity to Phury concerning the drug addiction, but also the acceptance of it and finally the withdrawal after his attempt to commit suicide just didn’t work out (thanks, Zsadist!).

I love how he is such an important character for the plot of the novels, regarding the Glymera, the attack of Wrath in his house and finally him working for the king as a spy. And yes, his way to get his hands dirty just makes him even more adorable as a character because it shows that he’s not the rich man who’s got his people to work. I mean, he even does the laundry himself, right?

I believe the way this man will be going will be an interesting one; it will be a hard one, but also one full of loyalty, friendship and most hopefully love. And I am sure J.R. Ward will find a way to bring back Marisol. I’m not sure what his book will be called, but I am waiting happily for it.


06/12 - Halfway Gone

I know we're almost halfway through March already, but I had so much life to deal with lately that I just didn't find any time to think about how February ended.
And with this month the first half of my year in Würzburg.

It's funny how it took me so long to get used to being here and now I can't even imagine that I will go back in six months. I'm just halfway gone again already. But we all know: you can't put your trust in time. And, more important: We have to go back.

So, what did I learn within the past six months?

  • Home is where your people are.
  • Age is only a number.
  • I'll never be into wine.
  • Hand me a camera and I'm happy to work with it.
  • The people make the place worth living at.
  • Family rules.
  • Everything's better when there are bunnies in your life.
It feels pretty unreal to live here since last September. It feels pretty unreal to think back and remember the moments when I first met the people I now call my friends. It feels pretty unreal to have two homes in Germany now.

Anyways, I'll simply enjoy the second half of this whole thing. And I'll find out what it'll teach me.

"So I'll start a revolution from my bed. 'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head. Step outside, summertime's in bloom. Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face. 'Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out." - Oasis


5/12 - It's never goodbye, it's just 'till next time

"Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don't want to walk around angry, or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." - Jennifer Jareau (Criminal Minds)
I always said that I'm not the person to write at a local office, especially not in a small town. However, it turned out to be a place I really liked to be at. Most of this is due to the people I worked with at my first station of the new job in the local office in Marktheidenfeld.

This last month was my last one at this station and it actually made me sad to leave. I got used to our way of doing things, I became part of the team and that was quite a good feeling. 

As a journalist, I learned a lot in this office and with these people. My writing got better, my photography got more focused. But most of all, I learned a lot concerning my person. I learned how to be more self-confident, how to trust the own skills, how to take responsibility when needed.

I will miss the people I worked with, no doubt (especially my favorite colleague who should basically know this already as it's really hard for me not seeing him everyday which leads to me texting way too much). I appreciate what they taught me and I am honored by what they told me in the end about my work. 

This is one of the two very present experiences of this month. 

The second one is way more happy: I became a real bunny mom as our two giant bunnies Dandelion and Amaryllis (who's called Odin now) are now the parents of four baby bunnies.

The babies are healthy and full of life. They run around and discover he world around them. It's the saddest thing on earth that I cannot be there while they grow up, but my parents take care of them now. 

I started to realize a change in me this month, and it's quite positive for the first time. I feel good, I finally got used to living here and I found people who mean a lot to me and who make me feel more at home here eventually. That's the first step, I guess.


4/12 - So long, 2016

I can't believe I already finished one third of this year away. And I can't believe 2016 is over.

I don't even have a specific reason why this year was so terrible to me, it was just the summ of everything that happened and that didn't happen.

My brother and his girlfriend broke up, the one couple I believed in to be forever together. I always said I would lose my faith in love if this ever happened, and look what appeared to be true. One of my closest friends moved to England for a semester abroad and then decided to stay there. My dutch course broke apart and won't take place again. One of my best friends went to Finland for six months. A close friend moved away and now we're not close anymore. Two of my bunnies died, one of them only 14 weeks old. Rock am Ring as a desaster. I had to move away from everything I love basically. My brother moved away. I finished LOST.

At least that last month finally felt good to me at most points. Sure, I was confused and insecure again because I don't know how to feel correctly anymore, but I could handle things somehow. Not everything in this last year was bad, I just can't rethink every single day. And I don't want to. "And then it was done. Over with. Never to happen again."

2016, I turned into a person I never wanted to be and still don't want to. It was just everything and nothing that happened and didn't happen, nothing specific but everything important.

The only good thing in 2016 were the rockshows. 
I started to think if happiness during the rest of the year works antiproportional to its rockshows. Because at most of these, I was damn high and - for just a few wonderful moments - happy. Meeting Halestorm and especially Shinedown meant the world to me. June was just one trip on this wave of music and people. I never was so close to Nickelback like at the show this year.

I found some new music in 2016: Alter Bridge and Sixx:AM, two bands I always wanted to try out but for some reason never did. Like A Storm were amazing at the Alter Bridge show, so I'll listen to them, too.

And what would a year be without its people. 2016, I got to know Erik, a close friend now and my source of new music at all times. Thanks for just caring and for understanding my "please-take-me-back-home"-feeling. I met Rike at the Shinedown show in Hamburg, someone I'd love to see more often. The new ink is HILARIOUS, sister! And most important, Janina - who made Rock am Ring at least worth the visit. Love you much, my dear! Thank you for everything. Of course, moving to Würzburg also brought new people to my life. Just to mention the most important ones - Ralf, Kristian and Anna: you made the time here much better for me, and I wouldn't want to miss you in my life now; not as colleagues but even more important: not as friends.

And there are more people I'd like to say thank you to - for getting me through this strange year: Mom and Dad, simply for everything; John for being my best friend; Janis for showing me how strange friendship can look; Sophie for unforgettable love and talks and times I needed so badly; Ina for showing me the good time aren't over; Alicia for just being that weird lovely girl I love; Joost for listening whenever I need someone and for giving the best advice; Anneke for being my moral and emotional back up; Stella for making me feel much better with the way I live and love; Caro for being so lovely and helpful; Inga for being my positive friend from school who always helps me smile again; Lara for simply everything because she is so amazing; Anna for making the strange days even stranger and the funny ones even funnier; Svenja for being my better half basically and for all she is; Christina for rocking with me if possible; Fabian for caring about Johnny so much and for being such a good friend; Lars for never writing back but still being the most amazing person ever; Lina for laughing with me; Jule for English courses and the times beside this; Maike for incredible karaoke-nights; Megan for tv-series-watching no matter how boring it gets; Anne for keeping us all together somehow; Britta for gaming and fun; Paulina for talks, rockshows ans love; the rest of my family for everything of course - and Zach, Brent, Barry, Eric, Lzzy, Arejay, Joe and Josh for the most amazing moments of 2016.

Not everything will be better in 2017, but at least there's a small chance somethings will change. 

I'll close this one with the only song that ever made sense in a post like this: HERE'S TO US!